Musical Play: “European Explorers in the New World”

The Show

We want you to know what you're getting, so the cast list and first third of the script are available here! Bad Wolf shows are written for flexibility and can be edited however you like to meet the needs of your actors, school, curriculum, parents, astrological chart, latest whim, etc. If you have questions about the portions of the script not shown, please contact us.

Casting

FLEXIBLE CASTING:
From 11-40 students. Use as many Mapmakers, Crew Members, etc. as desired. Actors can easily play several roles, or a single role can be divided between multiple actors. Note especially that all roles can be played by any gender; we've written most of the news team with female names, but these can easily be changed.

CHARACTERS

Isabelle Scurvy
Makeup Artist (non-speaking)
Amber, the Assistant Director
Silvia Scoop
Prince Henry the Navigator
Jennifer Ravioli
Christopher Columbus
Amerigo Vespucci and Mapmakers
Leif Ericson and Norseman
Sonny Daze
Jacques Cartier
John Cabot
Vasco Nunez de Balboa
Diego and Francisco, soldiers of Balboa
Montezuma and Atahualpa
Wendy Wellness
Juan and Pedro, soldiers of De Soto
Alanso and Miguel, soldiers of Coronado
Peyton Pastime
Ferdinand Magellan
Francis Drake and Crew Members
British Colonists

and a CHORUS composed of all students who are not playing roles on stage at the time.

Script

This is the first one-third of the script.

(At the front of the stage, to one side, news anchorwoman ISABELLE SCURVY sets up to deliver the news. She can take her place behind a desk, or she can sit on a stool, or just stand. She can hold on to a small stack of papers. A MAKEUP ARTIST does final touch-up. AMBER, the Assistant Director, shouts out:)

AMBER (holding up hand with fingers outstretched): Quiet everyone! Five seconds to air!
(MAKEUP ARTIST exits as AMBER counts down with fingers)
Four! Three!
(SHE points with two fingers and then one finger to Isabelle)

ISABELLE: Welcome to a special edition of...

(AMBER always makes some silly trumpet sound with her lips before the phrase "Best News Show Ever.")

AMBER: Bum bumbum bummmmmmmm!

ISABELLE: ...The Best News Show Ever. I'm Isabelle Scurvy. We've got a breaking story. The...

AMBER: Bum bumbum bummmmmmmm!

ISABELLE: ...Best News Show Ever team has discovered a flood of people sailing away from Europe for uncharted destinations. Why are they leaving? What are they hoping to find? How long will they be gone? Can I housesit for them in August? We'll explore these and other important questions tonight, on...
(pause; nothing happens. ISABELLE glares or gestures at AMBER)
...on...

AMBER (who hasn't been paying attention): Oh. Sorry. Bum bumbum bummmmmmmm!

ISABELLE: The Best News Show Ever. Now to our reporter on the scene, Silvia Scoop. Silvia, where are you and what's going on?

SILVIA (stands in the middle of the stage with a microphone. Next to her stands HENRY): Hello, Isabelle. I'm standing here in the middle of...
(SHE pauses, looks all around)
...in the middle of the fifteenth century. With me is Prince Henry the Navigator, the patron of Portuguese exploration.
(to HENRY)
So you like to navigate, huh?

HENRY: Who, me? No, I can't stand it. You won't catch me on one of those ships. Floating death traps.

SILVIA: Then why do they call you the Navigator?

HENRY: My mother gave me that name because when I was born I had a birthmark on my back that looked exactly like a map of Mediterranean Sea.

SILVIA: Really?

HENRY: No, of course not. I'm a prince -- I send OTHERS to sail along the west coast of Africa. Spread Christianity. Make new maps. Find trade routes. I LOVE to trade.
(looks closely at SILVIA)
I'll give you a shiny trinket for that microphone.

SILVIA: I can't do that. This belongs to...

AMBER: Bum bumbum bummmmmmmm!

SILVIA: The Best News Team Ever.

HENRY (startled): What was that? I have to get me one of those.

SILVIA: Back to the trade routes. You traded with Africa?

HENRY: At first. But then in 1453 the Turks took over Constantinople, and we Europeans pretty much lost the land routes to the east. We had to find a new way to reach the silk and spices and wealth of the east by sailing around Africa.

SILVIA: And you did that?

HENRY: What, me? I told you, I hate ships. Sail right off the edge of the world. But by the end of the century, less than 40 years after my death, my countryman Vasco de Gama reached India.

SILVIA: And so that explains all these people leaving Europe.
(looks around and behind -- members of the CLASS are moving around in a hurry)
Everyone here is getting on a ship and heading east.

CLASS: Not everyone!

Song 1

CHORUS:
It's the fifteenth century
A time of great discovery
The Age of Exploration has begun.
The Portuguese are in the lead
They think their empire will succeed
By sailing eastward towards the rising sun.

But I am here to tell you that's the wrong way
Yeah I am here to tell you that's the long way.

PART of CHORUS: Sail west
OTHER PART of CHORUS: Yeah west!
CHORUS:
Oh west is best
Sail west it can't be far
Japan and China straight ahead
And India's right there, I read.

PART of CHORUS: Sail west
OTHER PART of CHORUS: Yeah west!
CHORUS:
Oh west is best
Sail west it can't be far
There's nothing there to block our quest
Come on come on come on sail west!

Prince Henry sends his sailors forth
They first head south and then head north
To sail 'round Africa -- so orthodox.
Seeking spices, gold, and silk
De Gama and folks of his ilk
Just cannot seem to think outside the box.

It's time that eastward trip got some correction
It's time to sail the opposite direction.

PART of CHORUS: Sail west
OTHER PART of CHORUS: Yeah west!
CHORUS:
Oh west is best
Sail west it can't be far
Japan and China straight ahead
And India's right there, I read.

PART of CHORUS: Sail west
OTHER PART of CHORUS: Yeah west!
CHORUS:
Oh west is best
Sail west it can't be far
There's nothing there to block our quest
Come on come on come on sail west!

(THEY exit. ISABELLE addresses audience.)

ISABELLE: Thank you, Silvia, for that update on the latest trend: sailing west. Let's go now to our Special Assignments reporter, Jennifer Ravioli, for an in-depth interview with perhaps the most famous explorer to head across the Atlantic.
(JENNIFER appears with microphone)
So, Jenny, I understand you've found Columbus.

JENNY (bubbly): Oh my gosh, Isabelle, this is so cool. I've found Columbus, right here in the middle of Ohio. What a great city!

ISABELLE: You were supposed to track down CHRISTOPHER Columbus.

JENNY: No way! You mean that old Spanish guy who sailed on those three ships, the Fresca™, the Latte, and the Pina Colada?

COLUMBUS (entering, upset): I am Italian, not Spanish! And my ships were not beverages. They were the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria.

JENNY: Wait, are YOU Christopher Columbus?

COLUMBUS: That's right. I'm known for sailing to the New World... although I must admit that I thought I had reached the East Indies and China. I had no idea where I was.

JENNY: You should get a GPS. I have one on my ankle so I can always find myself.

COLUMBUS: I claimed many lands for Spain.

JENNY: Wait a minute. If you're Italian, how come you sailed for Spain? And what kind of food did you eat? Could you take pizza on a Spanish ship, or would you get in trouble?

COLUMBUS: We explorers sailed for whoever would fund our voyages. I pitched my proposal to the crowns of Spain, Portugal, Italy, France, and England. They all rejected it. Finally, King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain changed their minds and sponsored my journey. So in 1492...

JENNY (interrupting, excited): Wait, wait! I know this one! "In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue." Kind of a dopey rhyme, isn't it? How about, "In 1493, Columbus sailed the deep blue sea." I think it's okay to change history if it rhymes better.

COLUMBUS: Well, I DID make another trip in 1493. And also in 1498 and 1502. I thought it was only 3000 miles westward to Asia, to all the gold and spices waiting in Japan and the Spice Islands. But it was more like 12,000 miles, and there were a couple unknown continents and a lot of islands in the way. I never did figure out just what went wrong.

JENNY: Then why are so many places named after you? Including this one?

COLUMBUS: THIS one?! (looking around) Are you sure? I've certainly never been here before! I never set foot in North America, let alone the part of it that you call the United States.

JENNY: Really? You must have had an amazing PR team.

COLUMBUS (shrugs): I guess so. I don't know about that either.

Song 2

CHORUS:
He didn't know
COLUMBUS (shrugs his shoulders, palms up):
I didn't know
CHORUS:
Where he was going
Didn't know just where he was
And when he got back home again
He didn't know where he'd been.

He didn't know
COLUMBUS: I didn't know
CHORUS:
What he'd discovered
Though he sailed there four times

COLUMBUS:
They tell me it's the New World
Is that so?

CHORUS:
He didn't know!
COLUMBUS:
I thought I'd hit the Indies
But something wasn't right
'Cause it was the Bahamas
A little oversight.

We landed next on China
Though people now all scoff
So what if it was Cuba?
That isn't so far off.

CHORUS:
He didn't know
COLUMBUS: I didn't know
CHORUS:
Where he was going
Didn't know just where he was
And when he got back home again
He didn't know just where he'd been.

He didn't know
COLUMBUS: I didn't know
CHORUS:
What he'd discovered
Though he sailed there four times

COLUMBUS:
They tell me it's the New World
Is that so?

CHORUS:
He didn't know!

COLUMBUS:
We didn't find the spices
The gold was missing too
The natives were not Asian
You'd think I'd get a clue.
Nine thousand miles in error
Is tricky to explain
A million misread islands
But I claimed them all for Spain!

CHORUS:
He didn't know
COLUMBUS: I didn't know
CHORUS:
Where he was going
Didn't know just where he was
And when he got back home again
He didn't know where he'd been.

He didn't know
COLUMBUS: I didn't know
CHORUS:
What he'd discovered
Though he sailed there four times

COLUMBUS:
They tell me it's the New World
Is that so?

CHORUS:
He didn't know!

JENNIFER (addressing ISABELLE at side of stage): And that's the story here, Isabelle. Gotta run. Columbus just wandered off and I think it's pretty likely he's going to get lost.
(THEY EXIT)

ISABELLE: Thank you, Jennifer. I think.
(to audience)
We turn now to entertainment reporter, Sophie Spectacle.
(SOPHIE enters, stands in the middle of stage)
So what's the buzz out there, Sophie?

SOPHIE: Exciting news, Isabelle. I'm back in 1507 where two mapmakers have just named a new continent after an up-and-coming Florentine explorer. The crowds love this rising superstar. Oh, I think I see him now!

(AMERIGO VESPUCCI enters. HE is a cross between Elvis Presley and a lounge singer. HE should wear dark glasses. HE is accompanied by TWO MAPMAKERS.)

Excuse me. I'm Sophie Spectacle with...

AMBER (from out of nowhere): Bum bumbum bummmmmmm!

SOPHIE: The Best News Show Ever! Are you Vespucci?

AMERIGO (very cool): That's right, little lady. Vespucci.
(perfect pause, like James Bond)
Amerigo Vespucci.

MAPMAKER #1: And we are the guys who put him on the map. Literally.

MAPMAKER #2: We read some very inspiring letters written about his voyages to South America. Unlike Christopher Columbus and Pedro Cabral, who'd both landed there before, Amerigo claimed that he'd discovered a new continent.

AMERIGO: That's right. I knew we weren't in Asia. I called it the "Mundus Novus"... (HE slides down glasses) ...the New World.

MAPMAKER #1: That was good enough for us. On the map we named the continent "America."

MAPMAKER #2: Of course...things were hard to verify back then. Even today historians still don't know if Vespucci actually wrote those letters, how many voyages he actually took, or whether he was the first one to claim this was a separate continent.

SOPHIE (to AMERIGO): Well? Were you? Did you?

AMERIGO (pulling down glasses): Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't.

MAPMAKER #1: What's not in dispute is that he claimed the eastern bump of South America, modern-day Brazil, for Portugal. Even though he was Italian.

SOPHIE: I'm guessing that all of this "claiming" of land for different European countries doesn't make a whole lot of sense to our viewers back home. You knew people were already living there, right?

MAPMAKER #2: Of course. But back then, anyone with a charter from Europe would just "claim" wherever they landed for whichever country had sponsored the voyage.

SOPHIE: That's outrageous! Didn't you know anything about human rights?

AMERIGO: Our version went like this... we explorers were HUMAN, so we had the RIGHT to do whatever we wanted.

SOPHIE: I don't think that's quite how it works.

MAPMAKER #1: Not anymore. But in those days, the major European powers whipped themselves into a frenzy to divvy up the whole world.

MAPMAKER #2: They were competing with each other for land and resources. If they could take control of a place, they would.

SOPHIE: That's...pretty gross.

AMERIGO: You're not wrong, little lady. And yet...it's still my name on the map. Go figure.

(music starts. AMERIGO should ham it up.)

Song 3

AMERIGO VESPUCCI and FANS:
I'm not the first to cross the ocean
I'm not the first to fill the gap
But still off I went
And hit a continent
And now my name is on the map.

I sailed to find a western passage
Three thousand miles along the coast
Though it wasn't there
Well why should I care?
There's still one thing of which to boast.

FANS:
Amerigo
Amerigo
People know your name no matter where you go
Amerigo
Well there ya go
You represent a continent, Amerigo.

AMERIGO and FANS:
My name lives on in every atlas
Both North and South now if you please
'Cause I sailed with skill
And I hit Brazil
And they're still speaking Portuguese.

FANS AND CHORUS:
Amerigo
Amerigo
People know your name no matter where you go
Amerigo
Well there ya go
You represent a continent, Amerigo.

FANS (salute):
Amerigo
Amerigo
Vespucci is his name.

FANS and CHORUS:
Amerigo
Amerigo
People know your name no matter where you go
Amerigo
Well there ya go
You represent a continent, Amerigo.

(THEY exit. LEIF ERICSON and a fellow NORSEMAN hurry onto stage from opposite side, just missing THEM.)

LEIF (shouting their direction): Hey, wait a minute!
(disappointed)
Where'd that reporter go? Man, I can't catch a break.

NORSEMAN: I know, Leif. It isn't fair.

LEIF: But I landed on North America 500 years before those guys. Remember? We Norsemen sailed from Greenland.

(This concludes the first one-third of the script.)