Musical Play: “America’s Tallest Tales”

The Show

We want you to know what you're getting, so the cast list and first third of the script are available here! Bad Wolf shows are written for flexibility and can be edited however you like to meet the needs of your actors, school, curriculum, parents, astrological chart, latest whim, etc. If you have questions about the portions of the script not shown, please contact us.

Casting

Flexible casting from 11-40 students. Use as many Cowtones, Ransom Notes, Deckswabs etc. as desired. Actors can easily play several roles, or a single role can be divided between multiple actors. All parts can be played by any gender.

CHARACTERS:

Paul Bunyan
Bess Call and Farm Animals
Pecos Bill and the Cowtones
Trio: Johnny Appleseed, Betty Bananapeel, Paula Prunepit
Annie Christmas
The Ransom Notes
John Henry
Captain Alfred Bulltop Stormalong and the Deckswabs
Babe, the Blue Ox
Lumberjacks
Storytellers and a Chorus made up of all students who are not playing roles at the time.

Script

This is the first one-third of the script.

(The CLASS faces audience and sings:)

Song 1

CLASS:
You know the stories about Pecos Bill
John Henry’s hammer is a’ringing still.
Paul Bunyan had a great big ax
He was king of the lumberjacks.

Maybe these stories are a bit far-fetched
Maybe truth is a wee-bit stretched.
Tales silly as a tale can get
Oh but you ain’t seen nothing yet.

You’re gonna shout
You’re gonna holler
You’re gonna shout out loud
You’re gonna holler, holler, holler
We took tall tales
And made them taller.

INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS OF CLASS (spoken):
You know the stories about Pecos Bill
John Henry’s hammer is a’ringing still.
Paul Bunyan had a great big ax
He was king of the lumberjacks.

INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS OF CLASS (sung):
Maybe these stories are a bit far-fetched
Maybe truth is a wee-bit stretched.
Tales silly as a tale can get
Oh but you ain’t seen nothing yet.

ENTIRE CLASS:
You’re gonna shout
You’re gonna holler
You’re gonna shout out loud
You’re gonna holler, holler, holler
We took tall tales
And made them taller.

Now they’re so big
They’re bustin’ the scales
America’s tallest
America’s tallest
America’s tallest tales.

(CLASS takes its place as STORYTELLERS come forward)

STORYTELLER: Yep. For those of you who never heard of Paul Bunyan, well you must have been livin’ in a city all your life. ’Cause Paul Bunyan was the biggest, toughest lumberjack this country’s ever known.

STORYTELLER: One day Paul woke up and found that his best friend, the giant blue ox named Babe, was missing! After flippin’ over a few mountains and wadin’ across the Great Lakes, he did the only reasonable thing a man who has lost his giant blue ox could do—he put an ad in the paper.

Song 2

PAUL (stepping forward, ax in hand):
Missing
One blue ox
There’s a huge reward if found
Missing
One big ox
Takes three days to walk around
Or four days if you’re slow
Missing
Oh I’m missing my Babe so.

Missing
One blue ox
He eats pancakes by the crate
Missing
One big ox
He’ll pull a winding road out straight
There’s nothing he can’t tow
Missing
Oh I’m missing my Babe so.

CHORUS:
What has become of you Babe?
What are you going through?
Paul spends his day
Pining away
He’s as blue as you.

PAUL and CHORUS:
Missing
One blue ox
There’s a huge reward if found
Missing
One big ox
Takes three days to walk around
Or four days if you’re slow
Missing
Oh I’m missing my Babe so.
Oh I’m missing my Babe so.

STORYTELLER: Yep, Paul sure did miss that blue ox. So he went to ask for help from his old friend Bess Call.

STORYTELLER: Bess lived with her brother on a farm in New York. It took Paul several minutes to walk there from Maine.

(We see PAUL walk across stage towards BESS CALL, who holds a hoe in one hand and a horse in the other. Really. Several FARM ANIMALS stand by her side.)

STORYTELLER: Bess was the biggest, toughest farmer on the East Coast. She knew more about cows and horses and sowin’ and reapin’ than anybody else.

STORYTELLER: Paul figured she’d know where to look for a missin’ ox.

PAUL: Please, Bess, you gotta help me find Babe.

BESS: I can’t. I’ve got too much to do.
(sings)

Song 3

Got my plowing to complete
I pull the plow with my own feet
The plowshare melted from the heat

FARM ANIMALS:
Shoo bee doo, shoo bee doo, shoo

BESS:
All I’ve got is this small hoe
Thirty acres left to go
It will take an hour or so.

FARM ANIMALS:
Shoo bee doo bee doo

BESS and FARM ANIMALS:
I’ve got so much to do
Sorry Paul
Sorry Paul
I’m so busy I can’t help you now.

PAUL: Bess, I know you’re busy, but...

BESS:
50 horses left to shoe
Not an easy thing to do
That will take an hour or two

FARM ANIMALS:
Shoo bee doo, shoo bee doo, shoo

BESS:
It’s hard work, you understand
Lifting horses off the sand
I shoe them with my other hand.

FARM ANIMALS:
Shoo bee doo bee doo

(SHE lifts horse again)

BESS and FARM ANIMALS:
I’ve got so much to do
Sorry Paul
Sorry Paul
I’m so busy I can’t help you now.

PAUL: Bess, you’re my only chance.

BESS (speaks): I got so thirsty this July
That water’s now in short supply
I drank a dozen wells bone dry.

ANIMALS:
Shoo bee doo, shoo bee doo, shoo

BESS (speaks): I dug 2 miles down this afternoon
Using just a fork and spoon
I’d better find some water soon.

FARM ANIMALS:
Shoo bee doo bee doo

BESS and FARM ANIMALS:
I’ve got so much to do
Sorry Paul
Sorry Paul
I’m so busy I can’t help you now.

(We see PAUL get an idea—he snaps his fingers)

PAUL: Hey, I’ve got an idea. We can help each other out.

BESS: How?

PAUL (speaks): Every step my Babe will take
Leaves a crater in its wake
Each would make a perfect lake

CHORUS & FARM ANIMALS:
Shoo bee doo, shoo bee doo, shoo

PAUL (sings):
Help me find my ox of blue
We’ll make tons of lakes for you
We’ll throw in an ocean too.

BESS: It’s a deal, Paul.

BESS, FARM ANIMALS, and CHORUS:
I’ve got so much to do
You help me
I’ll help you
We’ll help each other just like friends should do…Yeah!

(PAUL and BESS shake hands.)

STORYTELLER: Yep. Bess was ready to help. But how?

STORYTELLER: Bess had only one idea, but it was a real good one. Pecos Bill, King of the Texas cowboys, was well known for his wild cowboy ways.

STORYTELLER: Bess thought that Pecos Bill might have caught Babe in one of his roundups.

STORYTELLER: Yep.

STORYTELLER: So Paul and Bess scooted across the country to Amarillo to ask Pecos Bill what he knew about Babe.

(WE see PAUL and BESS move across stage, where they meet PECOS BILL and his COWTONES.)

PECOS BILL: I’m shocked! Shocked, I tell you. You think I, moi, Pecos Bill would stoop to stealing cattle?

BESS: You’ve always been sneaky, Bill, you know that.

BILL: I’ve given up my rough ways, Bess.

PAUL: But you’re the strongest, toughest cowboy in the country.

BILL: Not any more. I’m a man of taste now. I’ve changed my ways.

Song 4

COWTONES:
Raised by coyotes in the Texas wild
Pecos Bill was a peculiar child.
Rode on a panther as the ground would shake
Lassoing grizzlies with a rattle snake.

BILL:
Yeah I was crazy in my younger days
We’re all entitled to a rowdy phase.
Now I’m sophisticated and so suave
I listen to opera, I dress in mauve.

COWTONES:
Pecos Bill
Pecos Bill
King of the Cowboys
Our hero still

PECOS BILL:
I’ve traded in my saddle for ink and quill

COWTONES:
Ride on
Ride on
Ride on
Ride on Pecos Bill.

Once in a drought we were as dry as bone
Bill went and lassoed us a big cyclone.
Rode that tornado to the Texas plain
Gave it a bearhug ’til it poured down rain.

PECOS BILL:
Yeah I was crazy in my younger days
Now I got culture and I’ve changed my ways.
I know the subtleties of who and whom
Pecos William is my nom de plume.

COWTONES and CHORUS:
Pecos Bill
Pecos Bill
King of the Cowboys
Our hero still

PECOS BILL:
I’ve traded in my saddle for ink and quill

COWTONES and CHORUS:
Ride on
Ride on
Ride on
Ride on Pecos Bill.

BILL: Beethoven’s Ninth symphony is my favorite.

COWTONES and CHORUS:
Ride on
Ride on
Ride on
Ride on Pecos Bill.

BILL: I think Shakespeare’s Hamlet is deeply moving.

COWTONES and CHORUS:
Ride on
Ride on
Ride on
Ride on Pecos Bill.
(THEY exit)

(This concludes the first one-third of the script.)