Musical Play: “Test-Taking Strategies”

The Show

We want you to know what you're getting, so the cast list and first third of the script are available here! Bad Wolf shows are written for flexibility and can be edited however you like to meet the needs of your actors, school, curriculum, parents, astrological chart, latest whim, etc. If you have questions about the portions of the script not shown, please contact us.

Casting

From 11-40 students. Use as many Leprechauns, Students, Trolls, etc. in each scene as desired. We have cleverly given the students unisex names; feel free to change these or have students use their own names. All parts can be played by any gender. Actors can easily play several roles, or a single role can be divided between multiple actors.

CHARACTERS

MRS. M, the teacher
UNICORN
MERMAID
GNOME
GENIE
STUDENTS (in groups of three, by scene)
Jesse, Terry, Dana
Riley, Jordan, Jamie
Morgan, Quinn, Sam
Chris, Alex, Taylor
Jude, Chandler, Casey
LEPRECHAUNS
TROLLS

and a CHORUS composed of all students who are not playing roles on stage at the time.

Script

This is the first one-third of the script.

(CLASS enters. STUDENTS mill around until MRS. M enters with UNICORN, MERMAID, GNOME, and GENIE.)

MRS. M: Okay, settle down, everyone. Take your seats.
(STUDENTS sit down. UNICORN, MERMAID, GNOME, and GENIE remain standing next to MRS. M.)
We have five new students joining our class this semester. They’ve just transferred from the Grimm Academy of Mythical Creatures.
(SHE points to each as she introduces them)
This is Unicorn, Gnome, Genie, Mermaid, and...
(SHE pauses, looking around)
...where’s Troll? Has anyone seen Troll?

GENIE: Last I saw he was trying to eat the maintenance guy.

MRS. M: Oh no! That’s terrible.

MERMAID: I know. He’s supposed to be cutting down on snacks.

MRS. M: Class! Please make our new friends feel at home. I’ll be back as soon as I can -- I have to go save Mr. Peterson.
(SHE dashes out.)

JESSE (to Mythical Creatures): So, how come you guys all transferred?

GNOME: Our old school caught on fire.

UNICORN: Yeah. Dragon got the hiccups one day -- what a mess.

GNOME: He singed my hat.

GENIE: Not this again.

GNOME: I LOVED that hat. It was a family heirloom!

GENIE (shaking his head): Gnomes and their hats.

TERRY (rubbing eyes): I don’t want to be rude or anything, but I thought you mythical creatures were, well, mythical!

MERMAID: We get that a lot. But here we are.

UNICORN: And we’re REALLY looking forward to school.

GENIE: Yeah. We love learning.

DANA: You’re in luck. We have great teachers here. And great parents! (grins at audience)

GNOME: There’s just one thing.
(elbows MERMAID)
You say it.

MERMAID: Um, well. We’ve heard a bunch of rumors about...
(elbows UNICORN)
You say it.

UNICORN: Why me? Well, it’s just that we’ve heard that in your schools you have to...
(elbows GENIE)
You say it.

GENIE: Fine! I’ll say it! (asks CLASS) We’re not going to have to take any TESTS, are we?

ENTIRE CLASS: Tests?

Song 1

CLASS:
Though life may be a mystery
There are things that are a guarantee
And one of them all students could have guessed...
There’s gonna be a test.

There’re certain things you know are true
The grass is green; the sky is blue
As certain as the sun sets in the west...
There’s gonna be a test.

Here comes a test
There goes a quiz
That’s just how this school-thing is
But don’t stress out
And don’t be scared
You just gotta be prepared!

So if you ever feel perplexed
’Cause you don’t know what’s coming next
There’s still one thing to count on, I suggest...
There’s gonna be a test.
There’s gonna be a test.
There’s gonna be a test.

(THEY sit down/exit.)

GNOME: Wait. Are you telling me there’s gonna be a TEST?

GENIE: They just sang an entire song about it.

GNOME: I know! THAT came out of nowhere, didn’t it?

MERMAID: At least they didn’t ask ME to sing. Ever since that Disney film, people think all mermaids can sing.

RILEY: You don’t sing?

MERMAID: Just in the shower.

JORDAN: Mermaids take showers? Isn’t that sort of redundant?

MERMAID: I take showers in the mornings to wake up. I like to stay up all night doing homework at the last minute. Then I drink 45 caffeinated beverages in the morning to get ready.

JAMIE: How’s that working out for you?

MERMAID: I don’t know -- for some reason, school is kind of a blur to me.

RILEY: We used to do the same sort of thing to study for tests.

JORDAN: But it turns out that’s not a very good way to succeed.

JAMIE: Yeah. You’ve got to get yourself physically prepared if you want your mind to work well.

Song 2

RILEY, JORDAN, JAMIE:
We thought that missing school was fine
We’d stay up late to study
But on the test we didn’t shine
We’ve never felt so cruddy! 

Eat healthy foods
Wear comfy clothes
Get to bed on time.
Invest in yourself
Invest in your health
So you’ll be at your prime.
  
We thought that candy would be great
Before the test got rolling
But then we couldn’t concentrate
So now we are extolling...

STUDENTS and CHORUS:
Eat healthy foods
Wear comfy clothes
Get to bed on time.
Invest in yourself
Invest in your health
So you’ll be at your prime.

We didn’t give our clothes a thought
He was cold and she was hot
We could have silenced the naysayers
If only we had dressed in layers!

Eat healthy foods
Wear comfy clothes
Get to bed on time.
Invest in yourself
Invest in your health
So you’ll be at your prime.
Invest in yourself
Invest in your health
So you’ll be at your prime.

(THEY exit/sit down.)

MERMAID: That’s really helpful advice. I never thought of dressing in layers. In fact, I never thought of dressing at all. (shivers) It’s freezing in here!

GNOME: Well, I’d give you my HAT, but...

GENIE: Never mind about your hat. Here, Mermaid, have a poncho. (HE rubs lamp and produces a poncho)

MERMAID: Hey, thanks! (spinning around) It even goes great with my tail.

MRS. M (bursts into the room): Everything okay in here?

MORGAN: Just fine, Mrs. M. Any luck with the Troll?

MRS. M: He’s the least of my worries. Now it’s Leprechauns.

QUINN: Leprechauns?

MRS. M: Three of them. We found them in shop class making wooden shoes.

GENIE: Well, good for them! I guess they got that Dutch contract.

UNICORN: They did? That’s surprising. After that disaster in Australia I figured they’d never work again.

SAM: What happened?

UNICORN: They made such unattractive boots there that when people saw them they just said “ugg.”

MERMAID: I wonder what ever happened to all those things?

MRS. M: I have to go help lure the Leprechauns out of the kitchen -- apparently they’ve been diving into the pot of soup looking for gold. Carry on!
(exits)

GNOME: Troll is smart -- if they don’t find him he won’t have to take any tests. I’ve gotta hide! (tries hiding in silly places on stage)

GENIE: I’m not worried. You saw that poncho business! I’m just going to rub my own lamp and use some genie magic to do the test.

MORGAN: That would be great, but it’s not allowed.

GENIE: What do you mean? Why not?

QUINN: Well, it’s kind of like cheating.

GENIE: Of COURSE it’s like cheating. That’s the whole point!

SAM: Sorry, you’re going to have to prepare for the test like the rest of us. You just have to put a little thought into it.

MORGAN: Yeah. Make sure you’re in your seat in plenty of time before the test starts, and that you have whatever tools you are allowed -- like scratch paper, eraser, calculator...

GENIE: Lamp?

MORGAN: No lamp.

GENIE: Poncho?

QUINN: Sure, it’s a good way to dress in layers like we talked about.

GENIE: (frustrated) You sure I can’t use just a little magic?

SAM: Don’t worry -- you can do this! If you have any questions before the test, you can always ask the teacher. Mrs. M always gives us a couple of sample test questions so that we know what’s coming.

GENIE: And that’s all that I’ll need?

(This concludes the first one-third of the script.)