Musical Play: “The Environmental Show”

The Show

We want you to know what you're getting, so the cast list and first third of the script are available here! Bad Wolf shows are written for flexibility and can be edited however you like to meet the needs of your actors, school, curriculum, parents, astrological chart, latest whim, etc. If you have questions about the portions of the script not shown, please contact us.

Casting

Flexible casting from 11-40 students. Use as many Water Bottles, Banana Skins, French Fries, etc as desired. Actors can easily play several roles, or a single role can be divided between multiple actors. All parts can be played by any gender.

CHARACTERS:

Beatrice (the Moderately Good Witch of the North)
Danielle (member of rock band)
Josh (member of rock band)
Lenny (member of rock band)
Plastic Water Bottles (2)
Banana Skins (3)
French Fry
Chicken Nugget
Styrofoam Container
Bicycles (2)
Light Bulb
Air Conditioner
Refrigerator
Fish (2)
Green Rs (3)
SUV

and a CHORUS composed of all students who are not playing roles on stage at the time.

Script

This is the first one-third of the script.

(ENTIRE CLASS gathers, faces the audience, and sings.)

Song 1

Once there was a rock band
About to call it quits
Their tunes were uninspired
Their lyrics were the pits.

The drummer had no rhythm
The singer had no range
They had no way of knowing
That everything would change...

The night, the night, the night the band went green
The band went green
You should have seen what happened on the night the band went green.

The tour bus had a breakdown
The driver disappeared
The forest started talking
And that's when things got weird.

They heard from plastic bottles
They chatted with some fish
They listened to a Hummer
And helped him get his wish.

The night, the night, the night the band went green
The band went green
You should have seen what happened on the night the band went green.

(During the instrumental, DANIELLE, JOSH, and LENNY can wander across the stage, looking lost. A large banner at the back of the stage/classroom can be rolled out that shows a forest, or the title of the show, or both.)

The night, the night, the night the band went green
The band went green
You should have seen what happened on the night the band went green.

(CLASS exits. DANIELLE, JOSH, and LENNY are standing in front of a forest. THEY look around to find somewhere comfortable to sit. During the opening dialogue, JOSH drinks from a plastic water bottle, LENNY eats a banana. THEY don't notice BEATRICE, who enters, looks at the three of them, shakes her head, and addresses the audience.)

BEATRICE (to audience, pointing to the BAND): Will you look at them! The most pathetic rock band in history. Or what's left of it. Their keyboard player quit last night‹they were booed off the stage at Britnie Mango¹s sweet 16 birthday party.

DANIELLE (to other band members): I can't believe Carla walked out on us.

JOSH: I can¹t believe they have rotten tomatoes at birthday parties.

LENNY: I can't believe what good arms those kids had.

BEATRICE: Do they have talent? Sure! They're just missing something. Something to get them fired up. And now I¹ve arranged for their van to break down. They¹ll have to spend the night camping in this forest.

DANIELLE: Carla was the only one who knew how to fix the van. What do we do now?

JOSH (looking around): These trees are creepy. They're all natural and stuff.

LENNY: You don¹t think they have squirrels in here, do you? They'll drag you off while you sleep and stuff you in a tree. Then they eat you in winter.

BEATRICE: They've got a lot to learn. Oh, excuse me, I haven't introduced myself. I'm Beatrice, the Moderately Good Witch of the North. I used to be the Good Witch of the North, but I got demoted. Don't ask. But I'm working on my rehabilitation. This band is my ticket back to full goodness. You just watch.
(SHE exits)

JOSH (finishes water, throws bottle carelessly off-stage): Well, if we're stuck here, maybe we should practice our songs.

DANIELLE: Don't throw your bottle away like that.

JOSH: Nobody's gonna care. We're all alone.

LENNY: You sure? I thought I heard something.

DANIELLE: We need some new songs.

JOSH: And a new keyboard player.

LENNY: And some puppets.

DANIELLE: What for?

LENNY: I don¹t know. I¹ve always wanted a puppet.

JOSH (standing up): I'm going to get my guitar. I'll be right...
(HE stops mid-sentence; freezes, points off-stage in the direction he threw the bottle)
What's that? No way! Those are giant...

LENNY (screams): Squirrels! I knew it! Run for your lives!

DANIELLE: Wait! They're...they're plastic water bottles!

(TWO PLASTIC WATER BOTTLES enter)

BOTTLE #1: That's right!

LENNY: They're talking plastic water bottles!

BOTTLE #2: You seem surprised.

JOSH: It's impossible.

BOTTLE #1: Hey, you're the one who threw me away.

JOSH: You? You were a lot smaller then. And I only tossed out one bottle. Where'd you find your, uh, friend?

BOTTLE #2: Oh, we're everywhere. Americans throw out more than 60 million plastic bottles each day.

BOTTLE #1: And less than a quarter of them get recycled.

LENNY: So how can you can move and talk?

BOTTLE #1: I don't know. One minute I was just another inert piece of trash, and here I am, a talking plastic bottle.

DANIELLE: It's like a Disney nightmare.

BOTTLE #2: The nightmare here is all this waste. Plastic. Glass. Aluminum. Paper. We can all be made into wonderful new stuff instead of filling up landfills and forests. Just recycle.

BOTTLE #1: Yeah.
(dreamily)
I've always wanted to come back as a park bench.
(To JOSH)
You're crushing my dreams, man.

BOTTLE #2 (to JOSH): You're not the only one with feelings, you know.

Song 2

BOTTLES:

You threw me away like I was nothing
You tossed me aside like I was dirt
You could have used a cup
Instead you used me up
You ditched me and you wonder why I'm hurt?

You threw me away like I was nothing
You tossed me aside like I was dirt
Just one recycling bin
And I'd come back again
As tables or a yo-yo or a shirt.

Got a thirst? Well you can kill it
Keep one bottle and refill it
Straighten out your moral compass
Don't buy bottles and then dump us!

You threw me away like I was nothing
You tossed me aside like I was dirt
You say you¹ve got big plans
For all your soda cans
But we know you are just a little flirt.

BOTTLES and CHORUS:
Got a thirst? Well you can kill it
Keep one bottle and refill it
Straighten out your moral compass
Don't buy bottles and then dump us!

Shoo doo n doo Shoo doo n bah dee yooh
Shoo doo n bah
Shoo doo n doo dee
Don't buy bottles, don't buy bottles
Shoo beee yooh.

(THEY FINISH SONG and start to leave stage.)

BOTTLE #1 (as it exits): And take your own bags to the market!

BOTTLE #2 (also exiting, shouts and thrusts fist into the air): Power to our plastic brothers and sisters everywhere!

(THEY are gone. BEATRICE enters (the BAND can now see HER.)

JOSH (startled; to BEATRICE): Hey, who are you? If you're that soda can I tossed out of the van a few days ago, I can explain.

BEATRICE: I'm Beatrice, the Moderately Good Witch of the North.

DANIELLE: Moderately good?

BEATRICE: I used to be good, but there was a little incident. I brought you to this enchanted forest so you could learn to take better care of the earth. Tonight you will have seven more mysterious visits.

JOSH: Like big plastic bottles?

BEATRICE: Seven more visits. It's very important to me, and to you--- and to the earth---that you pay attention.
(SHE exits.)

DANIELLE: That is one strange witch.

LENNY: I figure I¹m just hallucinating. Like that time I thought I was having pancakes at IHOP with Abraham Lincoln.

JOSH: Well, your hallucinations are about to come say hello to you. Look!
(HE points to the other side of the stage, where three BANANA SKINS are entering.)

DANIELLE: Oh my gosh! Those are banana skins! Lenny, those are your banana skins come to life!

LENNY: No! It can't be. Not...
(HE pauses dramatically)
...enchanted fruit!

BANANA SKIN #1 (to JOSH): What's the matter? You don't think we have "appeal"?
(Pronounces "appeal" carefully, "a-peel," so the pun is heard.)
I just love that one. It never gets old.

BANANA SKIN #2: Yes it does, man.

BANANA SKIN #1: Are you kidding me?

BANANA SKIN #3: It is a bit predictable. And you say it every five minutes.

SKIN #1: You've got something better? I mean, I'm working with limited material here. Bananas don't have seeds, or a core, or a pit. Now there are some good puns with pits.

SKIN #2: Stop worrying about it, man. Mellow out.

SKIN #3: Yeah. Let's grab some garbage and go sit in a compost pile for a couple weeks.

SKIN #1: So what are we supposed to do while we¹re waiting to decompose?

SKIN #2: Just relax! Feel the warmth.

SKIN #3: Enjoy the company. Half the trash a family normally throws away can be composted along with us.

SKIN #2: What's better than sitting back, rotting away into organic material to help things grow?

SKIN #1: You're right. That does have appeal!

Song 3

BANANA SKINS:

Everyone wins
Everyone wins
People, the whole earth, and banana skins
Fill up those bins
Bring out the grins
When you are composting everyone wins.

Pile up some dry grass clippings for some carbon
And for some nitrogen use kitchen waste
And then go throw in some old tea bags
Then season it to taste.

SKIN #2 (shouted): Just kidding!

Everyone wins
Everyone wins
People, the whole earth, and banana skins
Fill up those bins
Bring out the grins
When you are composting everyone wins.

Now add some nice dry leaves and paper towels
Toss in some apples rotten to the core
And if you need a final garnish
Well that's what junk mail¹s for.

SKIN #3 (shouted): But not the glossy stuff!

SKINS and CHORUS:

Everyone wins
Everyone wins
People, the whole earth, and banana skins
Fill up those bins
Bring out the grins
When you are composting everyone wins.
When you are composting everyone wins.

(THEY exit.)

(This concludes the first one-third of the script.)